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Once they got the set arranged in such a way that it WON'T fucking fall over and crush the actresses, the orchestral pit, and/or the front row seats, the Flower Division assembles in the salon, complete at last!
... except for Maria, 'cause I guess she isn't cool enough to be in the cool kids' club. 
----
[Maria]
... fine. I don't NEED to be a part of their asinine little meeting. I'll just remain alone, as I usually do.
*Half an hour later*
[Maria]
... the pain within my heart is known only by this locket, the pain within my heart is known only by this locket, the pain within my heart is known only by...
*Sniff*...
----
... Kanna, my girl, you need to work on your conversation skills. 
I mean, really-- "man, I can crush rocks with my bare hands! Just imagine what I could do with a human's skull!!" is probably the perfect way to get an awkward silence going.
----
[Kanna]
But then I just sorta punched reality inna face until it admitted that I was badass enough to swim all the fuck way back to the Imperial Capital, so it was awriiiight.
[Sumire]
... punched... reality?
[Kanna]
Yeah, he was this whiny little monocle-wearing punk in one of those fancy seafaring uniforms, with a pegleg and all. He even had a parrot on his shoulder and everything!
[Sumire]
...
[Kanna]
... what? What're you staring at that newspaper so intently for?
[Sumire]
.... Kanna, you just gave a perfect description of the deceased ship captain whose broken, bloated corpse was found washed up on a beach in Okinawa this morning.
[Kanna]
Haha, yeah. It's funny how the world works, ain't it?
----
[Sumire]
Well, it's not as if anyone was actually worried about you anyway...
[Iris]
But... Sumire was the one who was the most worried, right~?
[Sumire]
Wh... what are you saying?! You little brat...
----
[Iris]
INSOLENT FOOL, YOU DARE CONTRADICT ME?!
[Sumire]
Why, of course! You don't really think that I would be scared of YOU, right? After all...
[Sumire]
... money is the root of all evil.
----
Yup, it's the same old gossipy, god-defying, frighteningly dysfunctional group of Wakiji murderers! 
[Kohran]
So ya went all th' way t' Okinawa to train in karate...
Haah... you really went far away, huh....
[Kanna]
Hehe, I guess. It's where I was born, too... and Okinawa IS the best place to go train!
... huh? By the way, where's Maria?
[Sakura]
I think she went back to her room a little while ago...
----
[Maria]
Thepaininmyheartisknownonlybythislocketthepaininmyheartisknownonlybythislocketthepainis--
----
----
[Maria]
o/` CRAAAAAWLING IN MY SKIIIIIIN, THESE WOOOOOUNDS THEY WIIIIIILL NOT HEEEEEEAAAAAL-- o/`
----
----
Well, that's not at ALL suspicious or stupidly vague, LET'S DO IT. 
[Ogami]
Sure! I don't have a clue what you're planning, but I'll join you.
...
Yeah, I've said it before, but I'll say it again: if Tokyo's future is in the hands of this guy, then we're all fucked.
[Kanna]
That's the spirit! You sure know how to cut a long story short, Captain!
Fun Fact: Ichiro Ogami was the only person in his class to pass "Clothes Changing" and "Jumping Through Windows" with flying colors, though he had a tendency to forget his pants. Also, he is able to Utilize His Navy Training to spy on hot lesbian make-out scenes.
It's a very special academy. 
[Kanna]
How about you show me... the kinds of fighting skills that they taught you in the Navy?
----
[Ogami]
Sure. No ties, no belts, no cross-dressing, FINAL DRESSING ROOM.
[Kanna]
... I have no fucking clue what you're talkin' about anymore.
----
[Ogami]
Eh?!
[Sumire]
Fare thee well.... Ensign...
Dear Diary:
That was at three o' clock in the afternoon. Five hours have passed since Kanna took the Ensign down to the exercise room, and the sun has long since set.
For the past four hours, we have all been able to hear a high-pitched shrieking noise emanating from the basement, accompanied by a duet of bones and machinery breaking in multiple places. The screaming was too effeminate to be anyone but the Ensign, may he rest in peace... tragically, no one could spare the time to go and see how they were doing.
The Ensign is most likely dead, Maria has locked herself in her room, and Vice Commander Ayame is in pursuit of Manager Yoneda, who has commandeered the Rolling Thunder in a last-ditch attempt to purchase more alcohol for the theater. Without a clear authority to guide those of us who remain, we have been left to our own devices... discipline is fast deserting us.
Surprisingly enough, Kohran kept herself busy by tending to a small garden in the theater's courtyard. She has not yet revealed to us exactly what it is she is attempting to grow, but much of the grass surrounding her mysterious plants has died off, as if the crops had sucked the life force out of the surrounding vegetation.
When I asked her, all she told me was "Well, I started messin' with my chemistry set again last night," and spouted this babble about "genetic engineering" and "sin against God" before crowing "We're gonna have some freshly-harvested turnipork meat fer dinner tonight~!"
I don't think I'll ever understand that silly girl.
Sadly, Kohran hadn't thought to put up a scarecrow to dissuade local birds from eating whatever it is she was trying to grow.
---
... she managed to improvise, however. In the meantime, Kasumi and Yuri are trying to figure out how best to hide the crow entrails splattered all over the windows facing the courtyard, and there is still the matter of hiding the Koubu-shaped hole punched through the walls... how distasteful.
On a lighter note, I am beginning to worry about Sakura. I am starting to think that she's been spending a bit too much time around Iris; I cannot remember the last time I saw her walking about by herself, and it is beginning to interfere with her practicing.
She seemed fine when I asked her how things were doing, however. For some odd reason, I can't seem to remember much of the details surrounding our conversation; I get the vague feeling that Sakura was simply a bit tired, and that she had promised to take Iris to the local amusement park while the Ensign was busy.
Oddly enough, she kept whispering something along the lines of "h... e... l... p... ... m... e..." I believe that Sakura may also be getting something of an allergy to sunlight and fresh air. In my humble opinion, she simply needs to take better care of her skin! Really, Sakura doesn't have nearly enough common sense; how can such a country bumpkin even THINK to compete with the theater's top star?
I must be off now, however; I must get back to monitoring the servants who are currently engaged in assessing the current state of the finances I have stored here in the theater. Iris may be attempting to tap into the vast amounts of evil energy stored within the cursed gold ingots that had been passed down from generation to generation of the Kanzaki conglomerate, so I shall have to get back to you later, diary.
~Sincerely Yours,
Sumire Kanzaki
[Ogami]
... sparring?
----
[Kanna]
You okay, Captain? You seem kinda out of it.
[Ogami]
No, it's just... I feel like I've been beaten to a bloody pulp, dreamt about some weird floozies in space, and then woken up and/or revived by some miraculous power of government.
[Forte]
Hahaha, now you're just being silly.
[Ogami]
Yeah, I guess I-
[Ogami]
...
[Ogami]
... 
----
[Kanna]
... aah. I'll throw some attacks at you, and you block 'em.
[Ogami]
Eh?! I mean, I don't know karate too well... there's no way I'll be able to block all of them!
----
[Kanna]
First up's a low kick. Next, there'll be a straight punch to the stomach. Finally, I'll be throwing a high roundhouse kick.
----
[Ogami]
Alright, let's DO this thi-
[Ogami]
GREAT SCOTT!!
[Kanna]
Hahaha... whoops, my bad.
[Ogami]
K-Kanna, aren't you supposed to TELL me what you're going t-
[Ogami]
GLGHBKSGH
[Kanna]
Hahaha... whoops, my bad.
[Ogami]
.. well, THIS would explain why I can't remember the events of the past five hours.
----
[Ogami]
Here it comes! First up is...!
[Ogami]
A low kick!
THWOCK
... and given how hard Kanna hits, I wouldn't be at all surprised if Ogami lost the use of his right arm.
[Kanna]
Not bad, Cap'n! You're pretty good if you can block one of my kicks!
[Kanna]
Next's a straight punch! Now then, think you'll be able to stop THIS?!
[Ogami]
A direct punch to my stomach... I'll block it!
WHUMPF
And Ogami loses the use of his left arm.
[Kanna]
So you blocked my straight punch, eh? Looks like I've underestimated you.
----
Well, THAT was a ridiculously easy game, now leOHSHI-
NOT AGAIN
----
----
[Ogami]
... well, my front teef're knocked out, I fink I shwallowed my back teef, and I fink I have an overbite now.
----
[Ogami]
Cough, cough...
No, that was an amazing kick...
... everything went white for a second there.
----
[Kanna]
Even though we're takin' it easy here, for you to be able to take all of my attacks like that...
----
[Kanna]
You're the first guy to actually SURVIVE a sparring session! The last guy I tried this with ended up havin' his skull shattered like a melon in a meat grinder.
[Ogami]
... no wonder you're the only successor to the Kirishima style of karate.
----
[Kanna]
Whew... still, it feels great to move your body around like this, huh.
... that's right! Captain, aren't you hungry after practicing like that?
If you'd like, I'll treat you to Chef Kanna's Deluxe Special Meal!
How about it, Captain. Wanna join me for a meal?
Hells yeah, we don't turn down free food!
[Ogami]
That sounds good, I accept! I was just starting to get hungry, too.
----
And thus, Ensign Ichiro Ogami passes yet another of life's great trials, and in one piece.
[Ogami]
Hey, Kanna, I can eat this meal through a straw, right?
... mostly.
NEXT TIME: We finish this particular section. Yaaaaaay 
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